My entire life as an introvert, I have lived by this rule of thumb: “I don’t want to be friends with someone if she isn’t worth my energy and time.” This way of thinking changed last week.
Last week I went to camp. I met some WONDERFUL girls. However, the first two days I was there, I was miserable and couldn’t figure out why. I talked to God and asked Him to reveal it to me (1 John 5:14-15). I finally figured it out.
1. I wasn’t having a good time because I wasn’t being myself. I was judging everything I saw and if it wasn’t like the other camps I had been to, then I believed the lie that it was “bad.”
2. I was allowing myself to close up again (See “My Heart’s Story Part 1&2”). I wasn’t allowing myself to get to know anyone, yet alone become friends with anyone! I wasn’t letting myself get close to people because of a what-if. The what-if of what-if I get close to them and I am forced to say goodbye?
Yep, you get it. I was a BIG mess! I was letting the Devil take over me with the emotion of fear. I was letting my old self take over. When God revealed all this to me, I made a decision. Either I could spend the rest of camp miserable or decide to try and actually enjoy myself and make friends. I chose the second.
When I did this, I can’t tell you how much this changed my world and my week. I ended up making some WONDERFUL connections and friends. The reason I say all this is for two reasons:
1. I struggle with problems just as much as you do! I still struggle with wanting to close up and stay in my own little world forever. I know I can’t do that though. I know the consequences and I don’t want to go there again (Romans 3:10)!
2. Don’t let the Devil win. Don’t allow him to take over your thoughts and emotions. Don’t let him decide whether or not you will like something. Instead, trust God and I promise everything will get better (1 Peter 5:8-9).