The lights flickered and danced as Grandma, Grandpa, the twins, and I made our way around the town square looking at the light displays. Christmas music played in the cold night air. I had a cup of hot chocolate in my hands, and I couldn’t have been happier.
I shivered and hugged a blanket closer to me. It was hard to believe I was still cold despite the fact that I had on two pairs of pants, two pairs of socks, three layers of shirts with my winter coat on, a hat, gloves, and a scarf keeping my ears, nose, and mouth warm.
I looked up and saw my twin brothers run to the next light display. They were laughing, pointing, and exclaiming, “Look! I see Jesus!”
At the word “Jesus'”, my heart seemed to leap inside of me. Though I went to church every Sunday and could confidently say I loved Him, recently (and other times in the past) God and Jesus had felt distant and far away. Even though I grew up in the church, I still had so many questions about God, and yet, I knew some of the questions could never be answered.
For instance, whenever I would express my concerns and questions, most of the time the answers would always leave me confused or the answer would simply be, “There are some things we just don’t know or understand.”
I huffed at the thought and Grandpa looked at me with a perplexed expression.
“What’s all the huffing about?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing! I was just thinking,” I said with a small smile.
Though the twins and Grandma had moved on to the next display, I found myself lingering and walked closer to the Baby Jesus scene.
Of course it was the same as always: Joseph on the left with Mary kneeling and praying on the right. The shepherds, Wise Men, and animals all gathered around in the back. A perfect angel in white was hovering above with his arms opened wide, welcoming the newborn King.
As I sat staring at the perfect scene before me, I couldn’t help but become angry. The perfect scene of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus seemed to mock all the chaos I had endured the last few months with my family.
What made Jesus more deserving of a perfect family than me? Why did Jesus’ parents get along and not mine? If God and Jesus loved me so much, why did I get a dysfunctional family and have to endure so much? How come Jesus got everything and I didn’t?
I huffed again and held back tears. I then turned my gaze toward the star, which twinkled brightly over the delicate little scene, to distract myself from my thoughts.
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Grandpa said as he came and stood beside me. I jumped a little at his voice, for I had forgotten he was here. “Despite all the ways God could have led the Wise Men to Jesus, God, in His perfect wisdom, used a star. My father, your great-grandfather, once told me when I was around your age, that God often uses the unexpected to bring about His perfect plan. God uses the humble to shame the wise.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
Grandpa chuckled. “It means, when people get all caught up in themselves and doing what they think is best in their own eyes, God often decides to use something simple to humble them. He sometimes uses something they thought was insignificant or useless to bring about their humility. Make sense?”
“I think so.” I really did want to believe it made sense, but it didn’t – like usual. This made me angry once again. Why couldn’t I ever understand anything about God or the Bible? Why was it all blur? Why did it all seem so distant? This started all my angry thoughts again, but for a moment, all was forgotten. My brother Benny suddenly called out, “Are you guys coming?!”
“Yes, we’re coming!” I yelled back, glad to have an excuse to end the conversation.
Grandpa gave me a wink and then went to catch up with the rest of them. I stole one more look at Baby Jesus and the star, and then walked away – not knowing that what Grandpa had just said was about to happen to me.
To Be Continued….(Daniel 4:37)
WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO HER?!
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