When I got baptized the summer after we moved to Arizona, and came out of that water, I had no idea what was in store for me. Those next two years were a burden. Quite frankly, I don’t really remember them, because I blocked them out. I do remember one day though when my AMAZING mom came in to my room and told me things I didn’t want to hear. She told me I wasn’t letting myself get close to people because I didn’t want to get hurt again. At first I took this information as,” Whatever mom, you have no idea what I have been through.” But then my WONDERFUL older sister continued to tell me the same thing. I started noticing my behavior and what I was doing to myself. That is when I realized I had built walls around my heart. One fault on my part was that I tried to remove those walls by myself. I thought I was strong enough, but I continued to fail.
One night when I was praying I told God my frustrations with trying to take down my walls. As soon as I said those words it all clicked for me. I needed God’s hep if I was ever going to be myself again. I then told God to take down my walls. In that very moment I felt God peeling, grabbing, and pulling at my heart. I can’t even begin to express what I felt. I remember feeling that spiritual battle for my heart. When that moment was done I felt 10 pounds lighter. I felt a burden lift from my shoulders. I felt clean and new and for the first time in forever, I felt peace.
From that moment forward I started trying to be myself again( of course with God’s help)! I started appreciating the small things and the big things. I started seeing God’s goodness in almost anything. I started to really care about the friendships I had started in Arizona.
What can you get out of this? My HOPE is that you will see that whatever situation you’re in, there is always hope! Never, ever give up. Keep fighting and keep going. God can take any situation and make it beautiful. I still have my scars and battle them everyday. The devil would like nothing more than for God’s people to believe his lies. We just have to remember God is in control and He always will be( Philippians 4:6-7).