One day they praised me; another day they cursed, screamed, and chanted, “Crucify Him!” (Mark 15:13) They made me feel like an animal. They beat and mocked me. They tortured me with whips, insults, and thorns. (Luke 22:63 and Matthew 27:29) The worst part of it all is that when I looked out at my friends, they had betrayed or disowned me (John 18:25). I was tempted to call on my angels, but then I saw what was ahead, and so I persisted (Hebrews 12:1-3).
The torture didn’t end there. They stripped me of all my clothes and made me walk the walk of shame. I carried my own cross (John 19:17), but through it all one word stood out in my mind. That word was “love.” Love was the reason I was doing all of this (1 John 4:9-10).
When I finally reached my destination, the sound of pounding of nails through flesh filled my ears. They were hammering into my flesh. The pain at first was a shock to my mortal body, but soon the pain became excruciating.
As they stood me up, I once again heard the shouts of insults, which this time was from beside me. This man, too, was being crucified. From the other side, a man defended me saying, “Don’t you fear God, since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” The man turned and looked at me and said,”Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.” (Luke 23:39-43)
I simply answered, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”
As all this was going on, I felt the cry of a thousand souls. I felt the feelings of fear, anxiety, depression, and anger. I felt the feeling of lust, the addiction for another drink, and the addiction to sleep with yet another person. I felt the urge for revenge and the presence of darkness swelled within me.
I then saw my mother and realized she needed someone to take care of her. I saw John and said to him, “Here is your mother.” From now on, John knew to take care of her (John 19:25-27).
My mind was soon occupied again with the physical, mental, and spiritual pain. The feelings of guilt after committing a crime and the pain of betrayal. The feelings of deceitfulness, a fiery tongue, shameful acts, and insecurities filled my mind.
As this point I wondered, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34)
Then my body began to give up. As I took my last breath, I cried out, “It is finished!” (John 19:30)
With that, the veil was torn, the ground shook, and all was dark (Matthew 27:51-52 and Mark 15:33).
P.S. This is just an imaginative retelling through my study through Scripture and my imagination (Romans 5:6-8).