“Miss Aideen, do you believe darkness can be a feeling or rather an outer space that we associate with our feelings?”
Jayda took a drink of water and looked back at the man who had asked the question. Jayda had now endured three long hours of people asking her endless questions on the subject of darkness.
She always answered the best she could, but sometimes the answers to the questions weren’t answers she could just give in an instant. Sometimes she would have to apologize and simply say she didn’t know.
“Sir, what you bring up is an interesting observation. However, at this time I am afraid I don’t have an answer for your question. Perhaps you could leave your name and email; I would love to get back to you on this particular subject.”
The older gentle man grunted, whipped out his card, and placed it on the table in front of Jayda. He then quickly walked away without another word.
“Thank you,” Jayda stammered, noticing his behavior was sending adrenaline nerves through her body. Her heart began to beat faster and she had to close her eyes to keep them from twitching.
“Well, I think that is the last person,” Shiloh said as Jayda opened her eyes.
“Thank goodness!” Jayda exclaimed. “I can’t do this anymore.” Immediately her eye began to twitch rapidly.
Jayda groaned inwardly and wondered if anyone would notice. She hated it when people found out about her “condition.” All throughout her life people had laughed at her, called her a freak, or even refused to associate with her because she was different, that is all, except Shiloh.
Shiloh had always been different and had always been her friend. Shiloh was someone she could truly rely on.
“Yeah, I can’t imagine using my brain for the last five hours the way you have used yours,” Shiloh replied. Shiloh stepped closer and placed her hand on Jayda’s arm. “I am sorry you had a panic attack right after the talk tonight. That wasn’t a very good way to end one of your best talks yet!”
Jayda forced a smile. “Thanks, Shiloh.”
Shiloh nodded and together they walked out of the conference hall.
The next day, Jayda found herself packing for Brazil. They were to leave first thing in the morning. As she was packing, she found her mind repeating the same question the older man had asked her the night before.
Was darkness a feeling? What exactly was darkness? After three years of studying, she had never once asked herself that simple question: What is darkness?
“I guess I have always related it to a feeling,” she thought.
Jayda’s thoughts once again turned toward the trip she was preparing for. How she wished she could just stay home for one weekend, by herself, and do absolutely nothing! All she wanted to do was sit on her couch and twitch without trying to hide it from anyone.
As if on cue, her eye began to twitch. She rubbed it angrily as if that might help it in some way. “Why?” she thought. “Why does it have to be so painful and so annoying?”
Her phone suddenly buzzed.
Jayda scrambled to her phone, and then the overwhelming fear struck her. Her heart and stomach practically dropped all at once. Her head was swimming with thoughts and her breathing was more like gasps. Jayda’s eye had begun to twitch so hard she could barely see; the pain was almost unbearable. Jayda forced herself to see who it was and immediately she knew she had to answer it. It was Kristin O’Dell, the Brazilian conference leader.
Without thinking about it, Jayda hit the green button with a twitching eye and a shaking finger, and stammered, “Hello?”
“Hello! This is Kristin O’Dell speaking. Could this happen to be Jayda Aideen by any chance?”
Kristin’s voice was so sweet and clear, it reminded Jayda of a bright, crystal blue ocean in the sunshine. Kristin’s voice seemed to calm all of her fears at once.
“Yes, this is Jayda,” Jayda stated already feeling more at ease.
“Oh, wonderful! I was hoping I had the right number. That is one of my fears- to call the wrong number that is.”
Jayda’s heart was still pounding, and somehow she knew something outside of herself was making sure the two of them crossed paths before the conference.
“Anyway,” Kristin continued, “I was calling to confirm that you are still coming to speak this weekend. Again, I apologize for letting you know on such short notice.”
Jayda swallowed and for a brief moment she realized she could say “no.” She could make up an excuse not to go, but that wouldn’t be right. How would she ever explain to Shiloh anyway?
“Yes, I will be there. Seven o’clock on Saturday night, correct?”
“Yes, that is when you are scheduled to speak. We also would love it if you and your traveling team came Friday night for the opening talk and introduction. It would be wonderful to see you before everything happens on Saturday.”
“Yes, it would be nice to meet you too. I will definitely think about it. Thanks.”
Jayda really was looking forward to meeting this Kristin O’Dell. If she was anything as nice as her voice was over the phone, Kristin O’Dell would be the only nice thing about this trip.
“You are very welcome! I will be praying for your trip to go well.”
“Oh, thank you. See you Saturday or Friday.”
Though Jayda had given up on the power of prayer years ago, she was thankful for the gesture.
“Yes, see you then. Goodbye, Jayda!”
Jayda hung up and placed her phone on her bed. She closed her eyes and realized all was still. All was at peace; no more twitching, and for now, no more anxious thoughts.
To be continued…
Alyssa Rasor (and your Heavenly Father)
*picture(s) not my own
This is my favorite chapter yet!
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Aw-yay! So glad you liked it.