Author’s Note: Good afternoon (or whatever time of day it is that you are reading this)! Before you read this chapter, I ask that you look up Romans 13:12. I don’t want this story to just be a story or form of entertainment for you. I wish for you to apply Jayda’s life to yours. Is there an area of your life that is consumed with darkness? Have you accepted Jesus as your true Light and Salvation? Is there an area of sin that needs to be exposed? I am praying for you, and I hope you enjoy chapter five – A Light Has Dawned.
Jayda glanced around the quiet coffee shop. It was Friday and Kristin had asked Jayda to meet with her before the conference started Friday evening.
Jayda’s eyes fell to the menu that was mounted upon the wall, and realized the menu was all in Portuguese. “How convenient,” Jayda thought.
Jayda’s eye began to ache and her hands began to sweat. The feelings of fear and worry began to pump through her veins. Jayda quickly sat down and decided that perhaps Kristin wasn’t here yet.
Jayda tried to suppress the worry that entangled her thoughts, but the more she tried, the worse her thoughts became.
Jayda pulled out her phone and searched for the text Kristin had sent the night before. As she was pulling up the text, someone tapped on her shoulder.
“Excuse me? Would you happen to be Jayda Aideen?”
Jayda clicked her phone off and jumped up. “Yes, are you Kristin O’Dell?”
The young lady smiled and held out her hand. “Yes, I am! I am so glad I found you. I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show up.” Jayda smiled and the two shook hands.
“There is definitely something different about this lady,” Jayda thought. The ocean blue feeling swept over Jayda again and Jayda wondered why Kristin always made her feel this way.
Kristin was dressed in a light purple shirt with a grey cardigan. On the bottom she simply wore skinny jeans and white converse. Kristin’s blonde hair was crimped and her eyes were as blue as the ocean.
“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show up either!” Jayda said with a small laugh.
“Oh, goodness no! I have been here for an hour. It is kind of one of those unecessary fears I have-that is the fear of people waiting on me,” Kristin said sheepishly.
Jayda couldn’t believe that a beautiful girl like Kristin would ever feel the need to be early for anyone. It felt more like everyone needed to be early for Kristin!
The two sat down and Kristin began to speak. “It is so good to meet you Jayda. I am thrilled to have you speak this weekend. I know everyone is going to learn so much from you!”
At the word “speak”, all of Jayda’s fears came rushing back. Her thoughts swarmed and she tried to focus.
“Thank you. That means a lot. I just hope every one gets what they pay for!”
Kristin smiled. “There is no need to worry. We are all broken people looking for answers. I only hope they are able to find what they are looking for.”
Kristin said the last part as if she knew what all humanity was searching for. This Kristin lady was surely different, and Jayda desperately wanted to know why!
Jayda started to fidget with a loose string hanging off her purse, and her eye began to twitch. “Of all the times for my eye to twitch, why does it have to be now?” Jayda wondered angrily. “How embarrassing!”
Jayda’s mind started to race and her palms began to sweat again. She looked about the coffee shop anxiously looking for a place to run, just in case her symptoms became any worse.
Jayda snapped her attention back to Kristin who seemed to have just finished a story and was now asking her a question. “So, Jayda how long have you been speaking?”
Jayda’s mind was racing and it was taking everything in her to hold back tears. By now her eye was aching and twitching with no sign of stopping in sight.
“Uh, for about three years. How about you?”
“I have been in ministry for about six years, but I haven’t really been speaking until this year. I guess you could say I am a newbie to all of this, but God is good and He gives me strength to keep going on the hard days.
I guess that is why I was so surprised when the church here asked me to put on this women’s Light and Darkness conference.”
Jayda gaped at the words that came out of Kristin’s mouth.
“A church? This conference is for a church?! Oh why do I let Shiloh take care of all my emails for me?” Jayda thought.
“Hold on,” Jayda stammered, “This conference is for a church?”
Kristin half smiled. “Yes, did I not make myself clear in my emails?”
Jayda swallowed and tried to quiet all the other voices in her head. “You see, I am not…I don’t handle my own emails.”
“Oh. Then who does?” Kristin asked.
“My manager, Shiloh. Shiloh is the one that books all of my speaking events, like TED Talks and other things.”
Kristin looked down at the table and then back up at Jayda. “I am sorry you were not aware. Is that a problem that it is a Christian conference?”
Jayda sighed and wished she could run away and hide. She wished she had never come to Brazil and most of all she wished she had never been born.
“You see,” Jayda stammered, “I don’t want anything to do with God anymore. I am done with Him and waiting for His promises to come true! He has never been with me or shown me His amazing love.
I am done with His light and goodness-whatever that means. I have been broken too many times! I am done trusting Him and waiting on Him to come and rescue me!
Those who believe in Him are fools and are wasting their lives away! I will not stand by and watch my life waste away to nothing. I am woman of ambition; I am not going to let some God out there in the universe stop me from achieving what I want to achieve. This is my life and I am going to do what I want to do!”
Jayda now found herself standing and almost yelling at Kristin in anger. The whole coffee shop was now looking at her too. After a minute the coffee shop returned to it’s peaceful atmosphere, but Jayda did not.
Jayda slowly sat down and Kristin seemed to be trying to find the right words to say.
“I see,” she finally stated. “Thank you for expressing how you feel to me. However, I do have a small question.”
Jayda looked down at her purse and began to fidget with the loose string again.
“How come in your bio on your website, you said that you were a Christian?” Kristin asked the question so simply and peacefully, it made Jayda even angrier.
“How many times do I have to tell Shiloh to change my bio?!” Jayda thought.
“I have been meaning to change it, but I haven’t gotten around to it.” Jayda replied.
“I see. So does this mean you do not want to speak at the conference this weekend?”
Jayda’s thoughts swirled and again she felt that even though she would rather be at home, she was meant to be here in Brazil.
“I will go tonight and let you know in the morning.”
Kristin nodded and gave a slight smile, and Jayda excused herself to the bathroom.
To be continued…(Ephesians 5:13-14)
Alyssa Rasor (and your Heavenly Father)